13 Comments

Hi, were you on truthstrike a while ago?

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I don't know what truthstrike is.

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There was a community, a very minimalistic forum really, where people would chat about no-self. Lots of people “popped” and saw it. Your post reminded me of that.

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I like the name truthstrike! I might steal it for something.

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It all started from some philosophy student who had a blog called ruthless truth. At some point he was asking 500 pounds (he was from the uk) to ‘pop’ people. The forum were mostly people who had been popped by him and did it for free. Basically extreme guided questioning on ‘what am I’. Probably some ~10% of the people actually attained something, though based on Daniel Ingram’s book it was the A&P. At that time no one had any idea about stages, meditation etc.., just talking on a forum like this. The community now vanished, probably due to the ephemeral nature of the attainments. Fun times still

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So whatever these people attained, it went away? Did people talk about it?

I have some experience of that as well. There have been previous times in my life where I believed I was enlightened. It went away, because what I called enlightenment then was really an ecstasy or good mood. It also came with no understanding of the cryptic remarks. What I have now is something that doesn't go away even with doubt and negative emotion, and that, well, has always been there.

I wonder if Ingram is not doing some harm in making enlightenment seem like something you need all that practice to attain. It's true I did take meditation seriously at one point however, though I never worked with Ingram's model, even if I read most of his book, because I just don't believe in taking a systematic approach to the mind. Though maybe that's what some people need. Many paths to the top of the mountain, after all.

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I can speak only for myself. It was 2011. I just basically realized that I did not have any agency by seeing the thoughts and perceptions and actions just taking place in sequence, each causing the next. I never lost the sense of the watcher, though. Massive elation, happiness through waves of tooth rattling fear. Feeling that I was not typing on the keyboard as the typing happened all by itself. Bliss lasted for a few weeks. Few years later the feeling came back briefly as the realization that no one is listening to my internal monologue. Most recent episode this Christmas: shit is just happening, there is no inside or outside followed by waves of intense fear. No feeling of being “done” once and for all. Not much motivation to keep searching though. I think it would be funny to pop some ‘rationalists’ though. They are mostly good people, and have lots of influence.

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